Take An Extra Bag!

Owning humans is a huge responsibility, and one of the things you have to be prepared to do is take them on regular walks. They need the exercise in order to keep healthy, and even if they do not want to go, it is incumbent upon the conscientious dog to insist upon at least daily outings, and preferably even more frequently if at all possible.

Regardless of the weather, a human owner is duty bound to leap up enthusiastically even from a comfortable prone position on the couch or chair whenever one of his humans comes through the door and make it known that a walk is most pressing on your to-do list. 

I should mention that it is a good idea to attach yourself to your human by way of a tether or leash for a number of reasons. First and foremost of course, is so that you may lead them in whatever direction you wish to go, and second so that if you see something of interest up ahead (like for instance a rabbit or squirrel), and have to put on a burst of speed to catch up to it, you won’t risk your human getting lost by being left behind - even if you have to drag them along.

I try to be considerate of my humans and use the opportunity of a walk to expel my bowels whilst in places other than my own back yard. My humans however, are so well trained in picking up my leavings that they automatically also clean them up when we are out. As a matter of fact, as we go out the door, someone is bound to shout, “Don’t forget to take a bag!” I do apologize to those of you who would have liked the opportunity to sniff my calling cards when you’re exercising your own humans, but alas... I can’t break them of this habit. 

They carry a little zippered pouch on a lanyard that they sling around their necks (not unlike the collar I wear in order have something to tether my humans to). This pouch has several plastic bags and a small flashlight that they use to find my nuggets even when on night walks! (In keeping with social etiquette however, I do diligently leave a token of my essence at any tree, light post or mailbox we may happen to pass.)

Lately, my humans have been walking with an extra bag out and wanting to stop at every piece of litter they come across and also pick it up. I’ve noticed that the extra bending action is probably beneficial as added exercise, so I have tried to patiently indulge them in this behaviour because the fuller the bag is at the end of the walk, the more pleased they seem with themselves.

When we arrive back home, the conversation amongst my humans has now somewhat veered away from the splendid droppings that I have produced to how much other trash they’ve managed to find on our route. I’m trying not to take it too personally - I guess this is just one of the small sacrifices we have to make to keep our humans entertained. They have been getting so much enjoyment of this extra activity on our outings that now when it's time to take one of them for a walk, one my other humans is more likely to shout, “Don’t forget to take an EXTRA bag!”